It's not just President Kibaki.
It's now official, Kenyans are yet to attain the standards of beauty set by other countries. We were rated the country with the ugliest people out of 48 participating countries.
An Annual Most Beautiful People Awards was held at the Gregor Theater in Bloemfontein South Africa and we claimed the ugly title despite Juliani trying to tell us that we are beautiful people. Back in 2000, Kenyans were ranked the funniest looking people in Africa.
Meanwhile, for those looking to marry, the countries with the most beautiful people are Rwanda, followed by Cameroon and finally at position three is Ethiopia. Forget the hype! Mwanamke ni urembo, hiyo ingine tutarekebisha tu.
If you are looking for beautiful ladies, the last places you'd wish to go are Gabon, Zambia and most of all, Kenya.
Apparently, the judgment was based on our presentation, physical appearance, grooming, communication and a horde of other areas. So ladies quit spending on beauty products and ‘make me look good’ services since they have proven to be no good in the over ten years of your ugly and funny looking tag.
But, I beg to differ being that the poll was held in the South of Africa. What were we to expect after frying one of their ministers? He insulted us first though. Fikile Mba-somebody, remember him?
So what do Kenyans really look like?
Kikuyu women have small legs, no figures, and a little exaggerated heads. They lack good behinds and those who have them look like inflated balloons.They are shaped like inverted pyramids. A big upper frame and an almost invisible lower bit.
Luo men have distorted facial features. That is, big lips and huge noses or rather knobs. Kikuyu men are also unproportional, and most of them are stunted. They walk leaning forward. Plus they have long rusty teeth.
Those from Kisii Districts are small people, the average man stops growing at 5’2" or 5’4″. They have mango shaped heads, and bowed legs, a feature also common in in their Luhya counterparts.
Meanwhile, Kalenjins are described as Funny little pitchblack emaciated fellows, raking in millions from the running track. However long they’ll remain in Europe, their features never improve.
Nandis have rounded foreheads, and thin, long arms. While residents of Kenya's coastal strip reportedly have wide faces, nearly like wide flat screen TVs, especially Taitas, and Durumas.
Finally, Kenyans do not know the meaning of good grooming. The women hate their dark skins and opt for mercury bleach which gives them unpigmented or spotted faces, black legs, black hands and a black back.
ALSO READ:
www.doitadigital.com