If Safaricom was owned by a Kikuyu, this is what you'd see

IF SAFARICOM WAS OWNED BY A KIUK THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD BE SEEING IF YOU DIAL:

*144#: kubaff! kwani unashidaga ukiagaria?! hutaki kiredete iishe?

*130#: musheji! pris kor me kira wakati nunua baba twedi ya kobore!

*131#: unakopakopa unadhani hii ni sacco? burari fuu wewe!

*100: customer care ameeda biachara igine huko ruiru. chenye urikua unataka kuurisa urisa jirani wako!