Maswali za polisi featuring Wepukhulu

Officer 1: Kijana natoka wapi nakwenda wapi jina yako nani unaishi wapi babako anaitwa nani...

Wepukhlu: Afa...

Officer 1: Weee! hapana jibu (slap)

Officer 2: Eee kijana you are definitely a suspect! Can you produce your ID? Kama hauna ID leta kipande. Kama hauna kipande leta kitambulisho. If you cannot produce the three ILLEGAL documents...

Officer 1: Hii ni criminal!

Officer 2: Twende mbele!

Wepukhlu: Sasa sija... sija...

Officer 1: Utaongea mbele!

Wepukhlu: Sijafanya makosa pwana.

Officer 2: Umefanya makosa jinga hii...

Wepukhlu: Aaa... munataka kunipeleka wapi pwana?

Officer 1: Kaa chini kwanza! (slap)

Officer 2: Tunakupeleka police station!

Wepukhlu: But I'm innocent.

Officer 1: What do you mean? Ignorant.  Innocent namna gani? There is no innocent person in Kenya. We can charge you with anything. Obstruction of justice, smoking with violence, being in possession of firearms with an intention to breach of contract, loitering with intent of first degree murder, looking and government buildings suspiciously, soliciting sexual favours from an unwilling female GENTLEMAN.

Officer 2: Yes!

Officer 1: Unataka gani?

Officer 2: Unataka gani sasa eeh?

Wepukhlu: But I'm innocent pwana.

Officer 2: Innocent kitu gani? Si umeskia ile makosa yote umesomewa?

Wepukhlu: I'm innocent pwa...

Officer 1: Jitetee... jitetee kijana.

Officer 2: Can you buy your freedom? Can you purchase your freedom?

Wepukhlu: eeeh......

Officer 1: Unaelewa lugha ya chai. Toa...

Wepukhlu: Niko tu na fifty pwana...
Officer 2: Fifty? Kubaff

Officer 1: Ayaiyaiya... (slap). We ni mjeuri! Hii unafanyishia nani? unafanyishia nani? Eee... Toa ingine kwa mfuko. Toa yote. Toa! Toa!

Wepukhlu: Niwachie bus-fare pwana.

Officer 2: Ati fifty. Fifty nanunulia nini nani? Ata awezi nunua chewing gum. Ongeza kidogo...

Wepukhlu: Hiyo ndio ilikua imepaki pwana

Officer 1: Okay, okay... sasa wewe infact kama ungefanya hivi kitambo. Si unaona sasa?

Officer 2: Ahhh... you are a good citizen. Law abiding citizen. Have a goodnight.

Officer 1: That is very good! Can we give you a push? Tunaweza kukusindikisa?

Wepukhlu: ai. Apana. Apana. Ai pwana!