POLICE: Mzee hebu toka nje ya gari.
OTIENO: Aah! buana hii inakukalia gari? Gari ni kama mkokoteni, kia probox, akiani vitz na sijui premio giri. A rangerover sport is a MASIIIIIIN, iwinjo?
POLICE: Ulikunywa ngapi leo?
OTIENO: Aai yawa mi niliwacha pombe afande. I just took one for the road. I took Johnny Walker blue label, red label and gold label, VAT 69 and 1 or two Jameson, kende. Oh and ofcourse maybe one crate of guiness.
POLICE: Mzee! Hizo zote?
OTIENO: Omera, wuaat do you mean zote?? Do you know how much I have cut back on my consumpson for health risons? Nowadays ayam sobeeeeeer!
POLICE: Hebu simama na mguu moja?
OTIENO: Hehe buana, do you mean that I divorce one italian soe from the ground and give it flight above the other italian soe? Isorait.
POLICE: Puliza kwa hii alcoblow mzee.
OTIENO: Hehehe mayie who? Me? Wiyi rach! Ituo in nyasachiel! The only things i put in my mouth is French cuisine from five star hotels, listerine mouthwash, vocabulary from Havard and of course my wife's lips. To cut the story sot, fine ni pesa ng'api buana, ama nikuwachie mtoka? Gigo okaketga edhoga pare.
Source: How a Luo would have said it on Facebook
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