The Omwamis of Kenya worldwide
22 May 2014
Omwami is at a bar in New York :
Man on his right says, 'Johnny Walker single'
Man on his left says, 'Peter Scotch single” Omwami says, 'Wekesa Johnstone Married'
***
Boss: I'm giving you a job as a driver. Starting salary is Ksh.20,000.00; is it okay?
Omwami: You are great Sir! Starting salary is okay, ...but how much is Driving salary...
***
Omwami's theory: Moon is more important than Sun, because it gives light at night when light is needed;
and Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!
***
Two Omwamis are driving a car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether it’s
working. He puts his head out and says, 'YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
***
Omwami shouting to his girl friend, 'you said ati we will register marriage and cheated me. I was
waiting
4 you yesterday whole day in the post office...
***
Two Omwamis looking at Egyptian mummy:
Omwami 1: 'Look so many bandages, lorry accident case mpaya sana .'
Omwami 2: 'Eh Pwanaaa!! , lorry number is also written...BC 1760...!!!'
***
Omwami on an interview for the post of Detective:
Interviewer: 'Who killed Gandhi?'
Omwami: 'Thank you Sir for giving me the job, I will start investigating...'
***
Omwami for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was
'FATHER'. He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read:
'I am a very fatherly person, I have lots of fathers, some of my fathers are male and some are
female. My true father is my neighbour.'
***
Interviewer: 'What is your qualification?'
Omwami: 'Sir I am PhD.
Interviewer: 'What do you mean by PhD?'
Omwami: (smiling) “ Passed High School with Tifficulty.'
***
Mwalimu: 'In which state does the Nyando flow?'
Omwami: “ Liquid State ...'
Audience clapped
Mwalimu stands stunned, looks behind, All were Omwamis...!
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