You know your mom is Kenyan if...

1. She had a drawer or a specific place for keeping paper bags after shopping.

2. When she beat you up she said, "unalia nini na hata bado sijakuchapa?"

3. When she beat you with pauses as in: "nani *slap* alikuambia *kick* ufanye *pinch* hivyo!"

4. If she has ever tried to remove anything that looks like dirt from your face with her saliva, even a birthmark.

5. If she asked you questions that had no answers 'Nimekupea dakika tano uniambie kwanini ulivunja thermos?'

6. If after whipping you alikushow, "na niskie ukilia uone"

7. If she responded with, "Vunja Yote Umalize" if you accidentally broke utensils made of glass.

8. If she had special plates and cups 4 guests.

9. If she had a list of neighbors and relatives where you could not dare go, "nione umepeleka miguu huko."

10. If you fell asleep on the couch but woke up in bed, well covered.